The Only Man I've Ever Looked Up To

There’s a lot many things I learned from my father, but I never really stopped to think about any of that. Earlier today, my mother asked me to wish him a Happy Fathers’ Day. I don’t really believe in the whole concept, and will be the first one to tell you that every day should be Fathers’ Day, and all that jazz. Unfortunately, though, in this busy world of man-eat-man, we often forget to tell people how much they mean to us. Especially the ones close to us.

That’s why I thought it would be a good idea to tell my father how much I’ve learned from him. Oh, and such a coincidence it’s Fathers’ Day!

Let’s start with some general lessons in life I picked up from observing him, and occasionally, from snooping on him.

If you’re looking for a reason to be happy, you’re doing life wrong.

You’re only as good as your greatest weakness.

When you do something for someone, don’t ever let them feel like they owe you anything.

READ. It’ll light up bulbs you never knew existed.

There is no fate but what you make. (My father said that long before John Connor.)

Mistakes will happen, and it’s okay. Just prepare for consequences when you repeat them.

A dog and a motorcycle ride are the two things that’ll make anyone happy.

Every time you go out, dress like it’s the most important day of your life.

Demonstration is always more effective than just talking.

Never talk about people behind their backs.

When a woman is angry, just shut up and listen.

Stand up for what you think is right. Even if the rest of the world thinks you’re wrong.

Working on a machine will teach you more about yourself than anything or anyone else.

Mainstream is boring. Ask the questions most people are afraid to ask.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. The world isn’t such a bad place after all.

Stick to your guns, but throw them when they get old. You don’t want to be firing that.  

Now for something more raw. Straight from the Dad’s mouth. 

“Papa, I need 100 rupees for petrol.” | “Here’s 500. Don’t tell your mother.”

“No one’s going to play with you if the only thing you want to do is bat and bark orders.” | (He made me bowl for the rest of the game.)

“Supporting wheels are for babies.” | I was 4, and riding to glory already.

“Life is hard. Learn to make an omelette.” | (I make the best omelettes ever.)

“Why press a bunch of buttons when you can go out and do the real thing?” – on video games. | (He still hasn’t seen the point.)

“Define your habits. Don’t let them define you.” | (This one I’m still trying to figure out.)

“WHACCKKK!!” – The (well-deserved) slap he planted when I called him a rascal. Read it in Champak and thought I should try it on someone.

“There’s a reason it’s called the dining table. Now come eat before I throw that book out.” | (The book went out.)

“Harold Robbins… hmm. That’s what 15 year-olds read these days?” | (Damn, how did I let him see that?!)

“For every action, there WILL be an equal and opposite reaction.” | Always the Professor of Physics that he is.

“Don’t speak unless you absolutely must.” | (He’s a man of few words.)

“If you make your mother upset again, I’m coming after you with a shotgun.” | (Never happened, thankfully.)

“Next time you hit your sister, I’ll make you punch a wall.” (Ouch!)

“WRITE. It’s the closest you’ll ever get to a photographic memory.” | (He didn’t actually say those words, but that’s what he meant.)

“Your advice only counts when it’s not unsolicited. Choose your words carefully.” | (Kabir aur Rahim ke dohe, on the moonlit terrace)

“Need for Speed? Hmph! About time you drove a real car.” | (I was 11)

“You wore running shoes to a driving lesson? Haha!” | (I don’t know why I remember this.)

“You’re going to Bombay.” | Changed everything about me. He knew it would.

“Your best is yet to come.” | Report card or otherwise.

“Be the bigger man, always.” – When I was 10. | “I didn’t mean that literally.” – Now.

“When you must eat your own words, chew properly so you remember the taste.” | (Ughh, bitter!)

“Angrezi ka koi sar-pair nahi hai. Grammar is in your gut.” | (I still don’t know the actual rules of grammar.)

“If I see you walking with a slouch again, I’ll put you in Maa’s (grandma’s) spine brace.” | (Worked!)

“The lady is carrying a pile of notebooks, and you didn’t even offer to help. How very shameless of you.” | (Chivalry 101, right there.)

“It deserved to live.” | After the neighbours chased and killed a Russell’s Viper in our compound.

“The spider fears you more than you fear it.” | (Didn’t work. I’m still an arachnophobe.)

“Two things will save your life – water and laughter.”

“Be a man of your word. Respect anyone who respects that.” | (Word, Dad.)

“Be proud of who you are. Don’t talk about it. Boasting is for the weak man.”

“Finish what you’ve started.” | (One day, Papa. You know what I’m talking about.)

“Leave him alone. He needs to learn this lesson by himself.” | (To Mom, when I was drowning in my own bad choices.)

“When did you get a job?” | “Last month.” | “Why didn’t you say anything?” | “I didn’t want to.” | “Good.”

“Dad, I’m a smoker.” | (Looks at me for 10 seconds, then shrugs) I felt shame.

“This is…!!” | “Scotch, Papa.” | After a minute, “Achha hai.”| (Yay! First drink with Dad!) 

“Pukaarta chala hoon main…

Gali-gali bahaar ki,

Bas ek chhaon zulf ki…

Bas ikk nigaah pyaar ki” | My personal favourite. Sings it EVERY time he’s driving. Beautifully. 

All right, I’ve said a lot, and there’s much more. I’ll save that for his birthday, maybe.

Here’s to the one man, the only man I’ve ever looked up to. Fathers’ Day or not, I love you Papa.